Travel Suicide

Travel suicide. It’s what the United States is doing to itself. The Times Online comments:

We would like to apologise for a terrible omission in last Sunday’s feature 10 Steps to a Stress-Free Summer. We forgot to include “Don’t go to the USA”.

Fortunately, Michael Chertoff, baldie boss of the Department of Homeland Securitisation, has now reminded us that we’re not wanted. Or, rather, that we are wanted (because tourists bring lots of nice money with them), but only if we jump through lots of hoops in the process.

Chertoff has let it be known that Europe is a platform for terrorism. He says it’s important to step up checks on travellers. Yes, that’s right, step them up. In fact, it would be really, really great, he didn’t say, but was probably thinking, if all we prospective visitors could be so good as to stay at home and just send our holiday money over in an envelope.

I hate to admit it, but it is true. Even in New York State, there are all these hoops and hurdles just to cross the line and back, just to see Canada’s side of Niagara Falls. Yet, if you were an illegal with anchor baby, trying to sneak through a Texan’s backyard in search of free healthcare and welfare, well, come on in!

A preflight e-interrogation, epic queues at immigration, thin-lipped questioning from aggressive border guards, and an outside chance of a rubber-gloved rectal rummage are all part of the fun. So, if Chertoff and co want to tighten Fortress America further, it’s time we considered other more welcoming holiday options. Such as Iran or North Korea.

I hate to see our country move toward a “your papers please” nation. Isn’t that what we fought so hard against sixty years ago?